2010

A good friend told me that God was pruning us this year, and I can't think of a better way to describe it.

This year (at least March - November) felt like a constant stream of attacks.  That's not to say that there was nothing good - there were still a lot of good things, but the bad has a tendency to outweigh the good in our memories (at least in mine).

We faced some of our biggest fears head-on:
For me, it was cancer.  Especially since having kids, I've had a very strong (probably unhealthy) fear of cancer.  The fact that it strikes without warning and is hard to control is terrifying to me.  I don't think I can express how devastating it felt to find out that it had attacked my child.

For Jon, it was the loss of his job.  This isn't to say that he wasn't equally terrified at Joey's sickness, but he had to face his great fear of failing in his career.

Through my experiences and listening to others, I've come to realize that sometimes we are forced to face our biggest fears because it's the only thing that will lead us to trust God fully.  I never really understood what it means to "trust God".  People say it all the time, but it's hard to understand what it actually means to our daily lives.  I certainly feel like I understand it better now.  Being in the dark places that I've been have opened my eyes more to what it means to trust Him.  I would have never understood it without the trials of this year.  I don't mean to say that I've got it all figured out (far from it), but I'm a lot closer now than before.

In in addition to the growth I feel I've had, it has been amazing to see how people have reacted.  We honestly would not be sane right now if it weren't for the people around us.  The financial help (via fundraisers, etc) has successfully gotten us through with Jon not working and all the medical bills are paid.  We've had people clean our house while we were in the hospital, had a loaner car while Jon was without a vehicle, and had meals brought to us.  There were also many people who helped by taking Katherine while we were in the hospital so she could actually have some fun, and friends who pitched in to make sure she had a good birthday party.  I could go on and on with good deeds that helped us out tremendously.  Thank you!

The tail end of the year has brought us good news (which I shared in an earlier post), so I feel like we are facing those fears and winning the battles.  2011 will not be an easy year, but I hope it will be one with few surprises.

Happy New Year!